Entrepreneur of the year award goes to Somali Warlord.
The International Business Entrepreneur of the Year award has been, some say controversially, awarded to Ugundu Afarda, a senior Somalian warlord who is believed to be behind several pirate attacks, as well as various gun running and slavery enterprises.
“We’re just recognizing business talent when we see it,” said Helsin Westrand, head of the Swedish institute of Business recognition. “Here we have a person who’s grown up with minimum education, he doesn’t even have a degree, and yet at the age of about thirty something is running a multi-million dollar organization.”
There’s something to be said for Helsin’s comments.
“I was just a peasant, scraping by before Ugundu’s group recruited me,” said Jamad Porsid, who asked to remain anonymous. “Now I have a F***ing great big gun, and no mo********r messes with me. I get the p****y and any amount of drugs and beer I want. It’s a great package.”
Jamad wasn’t the only local who’s benefited from the employment opportunities of this warlord. One local, who told us if we named him he’d f**k us up good, agreed that life was much better under Ugundu’s benevolent rule.
“I’m a driver,” he said, via a translator. “I never done no driving before, but now I have a great big truck with a massive b*****y gun on the back. Get’s through rushhour the good. I only killed three people learning to drive too. That was a class best.”
Even the local kids, who rarely went to school before, mainly because there wasn’t one, have a better life.
“I can speak English now,” young Randan told us, waving some large automatic weapon about as he puffed on his cigarette. “I speak to hostages and companies to demand ransom. F*****g school, what did that get me? Now I’m an intern with real career prospects, assuming no one shoots me in the head. Anyway, I shoot them first. Give me your watch, I like your watch, hand it over.”
The recipient of this award was reluctant to be interviewed, but by offering one of our sound recordists as a slave to his assistant, we managed to secure a few minutes with Warlord Ugundu Afarda in his tent.
“I’ve brought prosperity to the area,” he stated flatly. “The Americans and Eureopeans are spineless p*****s. They have the guns but are too scared to use them. I’m not. Who’s the asshole? Answer me that? Answer me or I put a bullet in your head!”
Warlord Ararda was reluctant to be photographed, saying it would ’steal his soul’, but after some haggling, he agreed on a inspirational pose.
“I hope this will encourage others to venture into business,” he said. “The secret is to kill anyone who stands in your way.”
Sound advice for the budding CEO.
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Aw! You make me ROLF with this post. Nice and catchy title huh.
I think it is refreshing to see that entrepreneurs who openly admit to sacrificing others are recognized as well. For too long, only those entrepreneurs who hide their methods of getting to the top, have been lauded with awards and accolades.
LOL … given the state of the world today, I thought that this was a true story on first glance.